Forgiveness is a strange animal. We often court it like a puppy, thinking all we have to do is call and it will come running. But, in truth, forgiveness is more like a cat – it’s fickle and won’t come just because we want it to.
Why is that? Why is it that something we want so badly can be so elusive and just beyond reach?
Because ultimately, forgiveness is about letting go of resentment. While that may seem like a great idea, the truth is we’ve got a lot invested in our resentments. After all, it’s much easier to blame you, or the government, or that guy at work for whatever’s going wrong. At least it’s not me.
But as long I’m holding you responsible for my misery, by default I’m also giving you power over my well-being. In essence I’m saying, “I can’t feel good unless you change.”
By giving you that power I am essentially telling myself I am powerless over my own happiness.
And that’s what it comes down to, really. It’s this perception of powerlessness that breeds the resentment. It doesn’t matter what happened or who did it. What matters is that I feel disconnected from that innate power by which I control my own life.
And I’m blaming you for it.
That’s what this Forgiveness Story process is all about; taking our power back. We’ll turn that insecurity into security, that fear into confidence and that loneliness into feelings of love, harmony and appreciation.
And how are we going to do that?
First, we’ll use classic storytelling techniques to find the specific emotional base of our resentment. Why is this important? It’s amazing how (especially with time) the facts, the confusion, the emotions and pain can get so jumbled and confused that, if asked, we could not clearly state why we hate that guy; we just know we do. We are so caught up in the emotion that our ability to see rationally has gone right out the window.
This storytelling process will provide just enough space to allow us to look objectively at the situation and help us identify and clarify just how we feel we’ve lost our power.
We will identify and affirm the Source of our power and dispel the illusion of powerlessness.
We will tell the Truth to the lie.
And in so doing, we will ultimately forgive by realizing there is nothing to forgive. We will remove the resentment by finding there is nothing to blame. We will discover the truth of ourselves and re-establish our connection to the power that was never gone.
Simple? Yes. Easy? Not so much. Do-able? Absolutely!
If this looks like something you might want to try, check out READ ME FIRST and let’s go to work.