Before we begin there’s an important distinction I need to make between blame and resentment. Blame is what I’m ‘doing’; it’s a conscious act. Resentment is what I’m ‘feeling’ and resides in the realm of the subconscious.
These are important distinctions. While it may seem I don’t always have control over my feelings I do have control over what I’m thinking. Whether or not I exercise that control is entirely up to me.
If it’s important enough and I so choose, I can make a conscious effort to change my thoughts around who I’m blaming and why. If I can change those thoughts my resentment will subside and that ‘awful feeling’ will disappear. Simply put, I can change what I’m feeling by changing what I’m thinking.