Many people approach forgiveness as a need for justice. At the very least they need that guy to acknowledge what he did. There is a ‘comeuppance’ factor, a price to be paid, a condition that must be met. Justice must be done!
But that’s not forgiveness at all – it’s revenge.
Revenge is conditional, It has nothing to do with ceasing to blame or releasing resentment. It’s payback, pure and simple.
The reason revenge can never work is because I’m still giving you all the power. I’m basically saying I cannot feel good until you do something I want you to do, or something is done to you that I want done. In other words, you’re still in charge. And I’m still powerless.
Blame, resentment and judgment all operate on the same level and as Albert Einstein wisely said, “You can never solve a problem on the level on which it was created.” -which means I will never be able to release my resentment as long as I am still in judgment. And make no mistake, judgment and justice are synonymous, so if I need justice, I’m still judging, and if I’m still judging, I’m still blaming. You get the picture.
Einstein also said, “If your happiness depends on what somebody else does, I guess you do have a problem.” Amen to that.
Our goal in ‘The Forgiveness Story’ process is to remove the problem, to make it a non-issue. To do so, we must remove ourselves from the level of the problem and deal with it on the level of pure Truth. We will focus on the only thing we have control over; us.